Monday, December 11, 2017

My Bestfriend's Wedding

Although we’ve known each other and have been friends for over 20 years we never coined our relationship as “best friends”. Not until her wedding day. Not until the host called “the best friend of the bride” to give a speech. A speech which I was not able to deliver at all since I was on the verge of breaking down into tears and ruining the whole event for the couple.

Before I was called upfront to give my speech, I was, I know I am ready. Days before the wedding, I have prepared something to say to the couple. But was I able to say the words? No! Hahahaha. I was holding my tears while my voice was shaking with tremendous conscious effort or else, I could’ve ruined the whole event.  

So this is the only venue I see fit to say what I had to say that afternoon of December 9th in 2017 for the newlyweds Pauline and Marvin.

Emcee: Well wishes and any message or advice for the couple? 
Me: 

“We are all here of course to celebrate with the newlyweds Pauline and Marvin this special day of the blessing of their matrimony. Congrats and best wishes to you both!

What advice do I have for them? Remember that it’s not always hearts and flowers. You will fight over the smallest of things to the most relevant of them. Choose only those that are relevant and are worthy of “fights”. Learn how to agree to disagree. It’s not always about how much voice you had during the argument, it’s how much you’ve made your point clear. You will face challenges and difficulties. Remember that you have to face them as partners. Extend your love to each one’s families for if not for them, there won’t be the spouse that you have with you right now. Some would say do not go to sleep with an issue or a fight unresolved. I say, do not force to settle an argument with heightened emotions. Sleep on it if you have to, and deal with it in the morning when you have calmed down and have a clear head to talk things over.

Lastly, during those times that you feel you are losing it, go back to the day when you made your vows that you asked God to be one heart and soul, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘till death do you part. And hopefully that will also bring you to that day when you felt most inlove and happy to marry your spouse.”

Paulina, you’ve always had a special place in my heart and you always will. You know you can call to me on anything, and talk to me about anything. I cried during your wedding. I wasn’t expecting that honestly. I didn’t know why I was in tears during certain moments in that day. But then I realized, I was crying because I’ve seen you change, transform rather, from that silly girl in high school who only goes to school just for the heck of it to becoming a lady, a wife, and a mom. I had the greatest pleasure of being there, witnessing the milestones in your life. I am grateful we have maintained a special bond of friendship all these years. And to know that your family treats me as family as well is something that I will forever be thankful for.

Marvin, thank you. You know I cannot thank you enough, for so many things. I mentioned during the reception “masaya ako Marvin na ikaw ang katabe ni Pau ngayon”, and I mean it. I don’t know any better person who will be Pau’s life partner. If there will be times that you have to vent or will need help you know how to reach me. And you should know I will be as accommodating to you as I am with Paulina. You both have me and Charlie to help you in anything if you need us. Be it known that I don’t have any bias. That I tell Pau she is wrong when she is wrong. So do not hesitate to ask me for anything ok?

To the newlyweds, Paulina and Marvin, I love you both. Cheers to your happily ever after!

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Usapang Halaman

Wala itong kinalaman sa pagkakaroon ng “green thumb” kung saan ang sabe nila ay magaling kang mag-alaga ng mga halaman kapag mayroon ka nito. Nagsimula ang “Usapang Halaman” sa loob ng isang maliit na kotse, habang nasa malayong byahe. Kasama ang tatlong lalake at nag iisang babae na ang tingin sa amin ay “Halaman”. Halaman na walang pakiramdam, na hindi nasasaktan.

Umikot ang usapan sa isyu na ang mga lalake ay madaling maka-move on galing sa isang pagkabigo sa pag-ibig. Na hindi kami nakakaramdam ng sakit. Na hindi kami nakakaramdam ng pangungulila. Na hindi kami nabibigo. Syempre alam na natin, kung sino ang dehado sa usapan ng  tatlong lalake at nag iisang babae tunkol sa pag-ibig.

Madami ang mga napag usapan. Ngunit ang mga sumusunod ay ilan sa tingin ko ang makabuluhang mapupulot mula sa palitan ng kuro-kuro at pagsasalaysay ng mga pinagdaanan:

Una, madalas kapag sinabi namin na okay kami, sa pamamagitan ng pagpapakita sa marami na kami ay masaya, or pagpo-post sa mga social network sites na katulad ng Facebook ng “Feeling Awesome”, iyon po ay kabaliktaran. Ayon na din sa idinidikta ng lipunan, kailangan ang mga kalalakihan ay matatag at hindi matitinag.

Kami din ay nakakaramdam ng  pangungulila. Kami din ay naghahanap ng kalinga ng minahal o di kaya ng minamahal. May mga pagkakataon na magta-type kami ng mensahe sa text or sa private message na nagsasaad ng aming paghahangad ngunit iyon din ay aming agad na buburahin at hindi ipadadala sapagkat iniisip namin na kailangan nila ng oras na mapag-isa at na mas makakatulong kami sa pamamagitan ng hindi pagpaparamdam.


At ang higit na pinaka importante sa lahat, para sa mga kababaihan, hindi po kami halaman. Lingid sa talamak na kaalaman ng maraming kababaihan, kami din po ay nasasaktan. Hindi alam ng madami na mas nasasaktan pa kami kesa sa mga babae. Iba nga lang ang paraan ng pagdadala ng sitwasyon pero, oo, nasasaktan din kami.

Ang nararamdaman ng isang lalake pag dating sa pag-ibig ay walang iniba sa nararamdaman ng mga babae. Maaring iba iba ang paraan ng pagtanggap, pag dala ng sitwasyon o di kaya ang pagpapakita ng emosyon ngunit walang edad, lahi o kasarian pagdating sa pagmamahal. Di tulad ng mga halaman, kaya din naming ibalik sa aming minamahal ang kapantay o di kaya minsan ay higit pang pag-aalay ng pagmamahal na maari naming matanggap kanino man.